I consider it a gift – in more ways than one – to have been given a second chance to be a first time mama. Let me explain that a bit more…
I first became a mother at the age of 24. Having my daughter truly showed me how much you could love someone – honestly the best feeling ever. But I also remember feeling scared, unsure of myself, alone, and SO. DAMN. TIRED.
But one of the things I remember most was realizing I didn’t know who I was anymore, outside of being her mother. I was a shell of the person I was before, I actually just felt disconnected from myself. Even the praise I received from other people were things like “You are such a great mother.” I had completely lost the identity of ME.
Oh, and putting myself as a priority? Nope. Did NOT feel worthy of that one.
Fast forward 15 whole years. I was a different person altogether – I had gone through two divorces, grown leaps and bounds as a human, and here I was, pregnant for the second time, at almost 40 years of age.
And more than anything, I felt like a first-time mama, all over again.
This time, I knew that I felt different – I now knew I was worthy of postpartum love and support. And this simple fact CHANGED EVERYTHING.
So what exactly DID I learn about myself – and those around me – the second time around?
1. My postpartum recovery was just as important – if not more – than my son’s. To be able to care for him, I needed to first ensure care for myself.
2. Preparing for postpartum mood changes was crucial. Knowing that I would be hitting a hormonal shift around 14 days postpartum – and also knowing that I have a history of anxiety – allowed me to set up my game plan for when those mood changes hit. Another key point to make: if you have a support partner, make sure they are aware of what this looks like and what your plan is. My postpartum anxiety hit hard and fast – and I was so thankful that my husband recognized the timing and remembered what we had planned to do.
3. I have nothing to prove to anyone else. There is no badge you earn for doing it all in the postpartum period or pride in being able to entertain guests. IT DOES NOT MATTER.
4. Rest until you feel you can’t rest anymore – then rest some more. Aside from nourishment, there isn’t much else you need to be doing than allowing your body to recuperate and focusing on your little one. Skin to skin time in bed for both of you is second to none. <3
5. Having *nourishing* food ready to grab was essential to keeping my energy up and fueling my body towards recovery. Instead of leaning on take out and fast food, my focus was nourishing foods that were warming, spiced, and easy to digest – and serious bonus points if they could be kept in a crockpot for hot eating throughout the day!
Overall, my postpartum experience the second-time around was different because I put MYSELF as a priority – not just my baby.
I knew that I was worthy of the care and support. I knew that I could mother my children better when I was rested, nourished, and cared for.
Planning for this time was a HUGE component of making this time go smoothly (well, as smoothly as it COULD!), but I know how overwhelming it all can be.
This is precisely why I created my course on Creating a Mama-Centered Postpartum Plan. I knew that having a postpartum plan that had my wellbeing in mind would allow me to focus on what was most important during the early weeks: rest, connection with my new baby, and holding space for my transformation.
This course puts you, mama, at the forefront: your recovery, your nurturing, your wellbeing. A well-cared for mother is able to care for her child in such a greater way.
Head over to my Mama-Centered Postpartum Planning course to learn how to craft the perfect postpartum plan with YOU in mind, mother goddess – with virtual, self-paced training on your schedule, without ever having to leave your home.
In the meantime, if you are already a mother, I would love to hear what key takeaways you had, looking back on the postpartum time. And if you are currently expecting, I would be honored to set up a free discovery call with you and learn more about you and any struggles you may have during this prepping time.
Blessings, mama!
